


Stay for a Lifetime

by rinabina



Series: The Unwinding Series [3]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: "It's been 84 years...", F/M, Friends to Lovers, Resolved Sexual Tension, The Day Court is for Lovers, but still a long time, elain x azriel - Freeform, not quite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 23:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17273507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinabina/pseuds/rinabina
Summary: InA Stranger Before Herwe learned a little about Azriel and Elain's tortured relationship.  When did the pendulum swing for them?  How did they finally come together?  A quick one-shot of the day she asked him to stay, and the day he finally couldn't refuse.“Stay for tonight.  Stay for a lifetime.  Just don’t make me come back with you.”





	Stay for a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Oh haaaaaaaay!

“Don’t go,” she said, the moment I had turned away from her.

The entrance to Elain’s manor in the Day Court was practically a rainforest.  Hanging plants with massive leaves lined the walkway while palms wavered overhead.  The air around us was warm and charged. Moisture clung to my skin in a sticky layer.

I disliked the weather here.  I disliked the weather in any other court aside from my own, but it would never keep me away.

Nothing kept me from the Elain Archeron.  Not for long, anyway.

We had just said goodbye after a short visit.  I hadn’t seen her in months, yet looming Night Court duties kept my most recent stay to only a few days.  Our sojourns were usually quiet and relaxed; filled with long walks, gardening and the like. It was time for both of us to let go of everything else and enjoy what had bonded us in the first place - 

Our slow, quiet personalities, and the bond that we shared.

I was facing the long pathway to the road ahead; dusty, deserted and lonely.  At my back, my wings ached for the sky - for freedom and space. The ground was cramped and heavy with hidden feelings.

_My_ hidden feelings.

I shut my eyes and blocked out the sunlight.

“Azriel,” she said.

Elain’s voice sent a shiver up my spine. It required restraint to not turn on the spot and swoop back into the house with a quick flick of my wings.  Staying was all I ever wanted, but it had never been that simple...

Instead, I looked back over my shoulder.  She was a vision in pink, with her pale skin rosy from sun and humidity.  She was free here; unburdened, unwatched. Her hair hung in loose tendrils down her back with ribbons woven between strands.  When or eyes met, I arched a brow in question.

She left her doorway and hurried towards me, sandals crunching on the gravel walkway. Her fingers latched around my wrist and held tight.  “I said, don’t go.”

I turned fully so we were face to face.  The sun lit her eyes up like amber cabochons, and I had to look away.  I gazed down at her hand on my arm instead. My syphon was glowing electric blue under her touch.  “You just wished me on my merry way,” I said as lightly as I could manage.

Every goodbye was like ripping my heart in half.  Even before she had run away to another court - even when she was sleeping in the townhouse and I was sleeping high on the mountain in Velaris.

“I know what I said,” she sighed.  “But I don’t want you to leave.” In a whisper she added, “I never want you to.”

Cruel, brutal hope sparked and ignited in my chest, and I hated myself for it.  “I can’t stay forever, Elain,” I said instead, masking my desires with cruel reality.  “You live in another court and I have duties to my own. If you would just return-”

“No,” she said, firmly. “I won’t go back there.”

I wriggled my wrist from her fingers and entwined our hands instead.  “I must go,” I said again.

The tension rose in her petite, little body like a firecracker about to explode.  Her muscles tensed, her eyes closed and her lips pursed until suddenly...

“You kiss me,” Elain said abruptly.  Her eyes were wild in the afternoon light.  One last, desperate plea for me to stay.

My throat nearly closed.  “I beg your pardon?” I croaked.

“You kiss me.  Right now. Here, in the pathway. I’ve seen it.”

In the span of a moment, everything I knew about the universe had changed.  The tips of my fingers itched. _Seen it._  In one of her visions.  She hardly ever spoke of them, to me or anyone else.  Now that she could control them, she hid them away like shameful secrets.  

It was a life she never wanted in a world she couldn’t stand.  

But _this_ vision.  What if it gave her a reason to love our world.  To love...me.

“Elain.”

“I know you want to, Azriel,” she said.  

Elain always said my full name; all three syllables.   _Az-ri-el._  Never _Az._

“Want to,” I repeated, absently.  The words felt foreign in my mouth.  ‘Want’ was an understatement. I was _dying_ to kiss her.  I had been dying for the last sixty years of our friendship.  But when had Azriel _wanting_ anything ever meant something?

When Elain had left to live alone in the Day Court, I had been devastated.  Our friendship different from every relationship I’d ever had. She wasn’t drawn to my abilities or my skills.  She didn’t feel guilt for my history or the life I’d lived because of it. She needed me - _wanted_ me around.  

We needed each other, but only I had ever wanted more.  At least, that’s what I’d been led to believe...

Elain took another step towards me.  She was so close, the air displaced around us and all I could breathe in was _her_.  The oils on her skin and the perfume in her hair.  The flowers and the leaves all around us. My vision spun.

“ _I_ want you to,” she said.

My heart skidded to a halt.

“What,” I exhaled in a rush.

Another step.  She was pressed fully against me now and I could feel every shuddering breath she took.  “I want you to kiss me Azriel. You’re _supposed_ to kiss me.  Please, don’t go.”

I stood my ground, fists locked at my side.  I refused to believe any of this.

“And what does kissing you have to do with me leaving?”

“Kiss me for as long as you like.  Just don’t go, not yet.” Her eyes narrowed as she watched my lips purse and my jaw bulge.  My restraint was for shit. It crumbled with the rest of my resolve.

“ _Please_.”

Like an uncoiled spring, my body acted on what had been repressed for so long.  My horrid hands reached out to twist in her hair and cradle her face. I wouldn’t let her beg me again.  

I did as she asked.

She did not flinch, nor did she stiffen in my arms.  Instead she fit into my embrace like I’d always imagined.  Her spine arched as I pulled her against me and her neck craned backwards at the force of our embrace.

I held her for a heartbeat, then pulled away.  Her lips were softer than I expected, like rose petals, velvet against my skin.  Her hands had snaked up my chest to the collar of my leathers.

Elain’s eyes fluttered open, blinked once, then closed again as she tugged me back down.

I released a shaky breath before she claimed my lips again.  Her breath was on my tongue, and the edge of her teeth teased my half open lips.

“I said _kiss_ me, Azriel,” she breathed between us.

_Fine_.

I encased her in my arms and kissed her for all that she was worth, for all that I had desired her.

For all the years I had loved her.

She tasted sweet on my tongue, and she molded herself into me.  Her arms snaked around my neck as she kissed me back.

I _felt_ it then, the source of her premonition and the reality we were living now.  Her visions and my desires, swirled into one, perfect moment. All the while, thoughts warred inside my head.   _Did_ she want me, truly?  Was this another sacrifice of hers?  I had lived through so many years without her, and yet…

“Eain,” I said, pulling away at last.  “I can’t…”

She snorted a laugh, eyes dancing.  Her cheeks were a brilliant, beautiful red.  “You _are_.”

I pressed my temple to hers and nipped at her ear.  Desire washed over me like the warm updrafts in the sky.  I was still flying, waiting to fall. I wanted so much.

“I can’t just kiss you like this.  It’s too real,” I said. “I need…”

“Need…” she sighed into my hair.  

“I need to know this is real.”

At last her body froze under my hands.  She bent backwards to meet my eyes, hands pushing firmly on my chest.  “Why ever wouldn’t it be real?”

“For _you_ ,” I said, urgently.  “My feelings for you are very real, and they have been for...a long time.”

Realization dawned on her beautiful face.

“If you don’t want me, I need to know.” I swallowed painfully.

Elain watched me with her chocolate eyes for a slow, drawn out moment.  Her lips pursed, then pulled under her teeth as she bit down.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the worst.

I felt her fingertips on my jaw and my chin.  She kissed one closed eyelid, then the second, my nose, the corner of my mouth, and my lips.  I kept my eyes closed but fell into a lingering kiss, one that left me scorched from head to toe.

She pressed her lips to my neck and down, to where pale scars trespassed over my skin.  I drew a shaky breath as she pressed her nose to the hollow in my throat and breathed deep.

I felt her words on my skin.

“I love you, Azriel.”

I couldn’t help the way my face crumpled at her words, or how the breath was drawn from my lungs in a soundless sob.  She held my cheeks steady in her hands, her grip strong and sure.

“Open your eyes,” she commanded.

I did.

“I love you,” she said, again.  “Please stay.”

The truth was written all over her face.

Newly freed from my fear, I felt my heart open up as her lips and tongue drew me further and further out of my shell.

“You love me too,” she sighed, shoving me back slightly.  “Don’t you?”

My head shook slowly from side to side as I watched her.  I took in her pale freckles and amber eyelashes, the full shape of her lips.  All the details I’ve always noticed but never allowed myself to observe this intensely.

“Elain,” I sighed, lifting her into my arms.  “I’ve loved you for decades.”

I took us out of the sunlight and back into the shade, through the garden and her open doorway.  It slammed on its hinges behind us as I took us further inside. To her bedroom.

To her bed.

* * *

Hours later, the bright noon daylight had faded to citrus toned sunset hues filtering through the sheer curtains.  The room was growing dark, but we didn’t dare move.

It wasn’t the showy revelations that my brothers had shared with their partners, but it was more than I ever dreamed of.  We were already so close, falling into bed had seemed almost...natural.

There had been jokes about wingspan and...other parts.

Facts proven _correct_.

A slow removal of clothing and other layers built up on the inside.  Nerves, shame, fear.

Yet, as she leaned over me, watching her fingers sift through my hair, it felt as though it had always been this way.

“This doesn’t change the fact that I have to go,” I said, looking up at her.  The dying sun looked like a halo behind her golden hair.

“Stay for tonight,” Elain said gently, tracing her fingers over the tattoos on my chest.  “Stay for a lifetime. Just don’t make me come back with you.”

Her words sent a splinter through my heart.  Back here again; together, yet separated by our loyalties.  Mine to the Night Court, and hers to her independence. In love, yet divided.

“If I could, I would,” I said, in a whisper.  “You know I can’t.”

“I know.  And I don’t fault you for it.  You are loyal and essential to Rhys.  I just wish...”

“I know.”

I let her continue her winding path across my skin, from one whorl to the next from my chest to my shoulder and down to my wrist.  The sensation flickered in intensity as she crossed scar tissue.

I let out a shaky breath as I asked, “What will we do?”

Elain’s eyes darkened and shifted so she was on top of me, _against_ me.  I hissed at the feel of her.

“Come to me, whenever you can.  Love me, stay with me, until you can’t take it anymore.  Then return…”

It wasn’t much of a life, but it was more than I’d had mere hours ago.

“Someday,” she said, sadly.  “Perhaps someday you can stay forever.”

“Perhaps someday you can come home,” I countered.

“The Night Court isn’t my home.”  Her voice was cold, final.

“No,” I said, “but I can be.”

Her eyebrows crumpled in the middle of her forehead.  “Azriel,” she sighed.

I wished that she had seen our future, beyond the kiss in the garden.  I wished she could tell me how long it would take before we were together, truly, without the threat of her mate or my obligations standing between us.  Eventually, I realized that her vision about the kiss could have been a lie. A clever one, surely, but not a true vision. Perhaps she had merely been brave enough to ask for what I would not.

I smoothed my palm against her cheek as we watched each other, then memorized the exact color of her eyes in this moment.  My thumb traced the edge of her lips, felt the smooth pink of her skin under the pad of my finger.

“I’ll stay tonight,” I acquiesced.

I’d stay every night, even if it cleaved me in two.  It already was.

She shifted against me again and this time I let out the suppressed groan at the feel of her body on mine.  I knew I’d make love to her through the night, even into the morning. Perhaps I’d stay another day, perhaps I’d fly home completely wrecked, body and soul.

Perhaps Rhys would flay me when he found out.

And Cassian…

Our bodies joined and I sat up to gather her to my chest but she pushed me back down. Her hair fell over her shoulders and hid us away from the world.  She raised herself over me, curled over my body like my protector. All the while, her body moved and we gave into the pleasure of our union. Of each other.

I let everything else go for now and focused solely on her.

On Elain, the female I loved.

Someday.  Someday I’d stay for a lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> This will not become a new story.
> 
> It won't...
> 
> Probably?
> 
> I don't know. 
> 
> Don't @ me.
> 
> <3<3<3<3


End file.
